A  

                                Abuse - treating another person with physical or mental cruelty, usually on a regular basis and against their will. A  

                                         fundamental  difference between BDSM and abuse is that the former is consensual but the latter isn't.

                                 Age Play - between adults involves adopting different roles to express a fetish based on age, for example it can take the

                                                  form of teacher and naughty schoolgirl or mommy and child.

                               Anal Sex or Anal Play - any sexual or fetish practice that centers on the anus (known  colloquially as the ass-hole).

                                                                             
                     Anal Training - is designed to allow the anus to accommodate larger objects more easily.
 

                         Anilingus - is anal-oral sex (or ass-licking)  

                              Animal Play - is consensual role-playing where one or more of the participants adopts the role of an animal, such as

                                                      a pony or a puppy, not to be confused with bestiality

                           Asphyxiation - asphyxiation is the unconsiousness and ultimately death which happens when the supply of oxygen

                                to your brain is cut off. This can happen in auto-erotic strangulation or other breath-control play.

                           Auto-Erotic Strangulation - occurs when people try to enhance their sexual experience by deliberately choking

                                             themselves or letting others do it to them. Dangerous. Dont ever do it alone... or at all for that matter 

                    B 

 

                   BDSM - originated on the internet as an all-inclusive term to bring together the distinct but related activities of Bondage

                             and Discipline  (BD), Dominance and Submission (D/s), and  Sado-Masochism (SM).     Abbreviation for Bondage

                      and Discipline. A style of sexual play characterized by the restraining of one partner by the other of pleasuring the restrained       

                        partner, often by use of "punishment".                        

                         BDSM Emblem        

 
                           Bestiality - is sexual intercourse or other sexually motivated activity between a person and  an animal.

 
                         Blindfolds - are devices which block vision and are used in BDSM play to create feelings of helplessness and disorientation.

 
                        Bloodsports - are bdsm activities which break the skin and result in blood being shed. It could, for example, be cutting with

                           a knife or razor, a hard whipping or caning, branding or piercing. A few Goths who dabble on the fringes of bdsm are heavily

                            into the 'vampire' thing and see themselves as blood-suckers, but Dracula of course didn't have to contend with AIDS.

                               Body Fluid Monogamy - involves both partners in a steady relationship deciding to share body fluids only with each

                                      other to avoid the risks of  AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, only having sex outside of theV

                                     relationship by  practicing strict safe sex.

 
                              Body Modification - is an inclusive term covering  piercing, tattooing, and other practices which decorate or change

                              the body for erotic or fetish  purposes. Now often used in mainstream culture simply as a fashion statement rather than an

                                indication of an alternative lifestyle.

                            Bondage - involves being rendered helpless by  restraints. For many people, the knowledge that they are powerless, that

                                  someone else can do things with their body and they can't prevent  them, is a powerful turn-on. For others, the

                            physical sensation of bondage feels erotic.

                                                              Bondage/Discipline    This is what it implies. One person in a 'scene' plays a Dominant role, tying up their

                                          partner or administering, punishment for an 'infraction.' Sometimes both methods are employed; sometimes

                                          people  are only interested in one aspect.
 

                   Boot Boy - is the name given to a submissive (usually gay) male who has a fetish for leather boots worn by dominants, and

                          who often works at a leather bar or charitable event shining shoes. The conclusion to the shoe-shining may be oral service to

                         the boots.

                            Bottom - is the word used in bdsm to describe a person who receives pain or sensation, and a 'top' is the person

                                         who  gives it. There is no implied domination or submission. The term 'bottom' includes anyone who is on the

                                          receiving  end of BDSM activities like bondage, corporal punishment, spanking etc. The words are sometimes also

                                        used as verbs ( as in to 'top' someone, or to 'bottom' for someone).  A  bottom is a submissive,or in a submissive

                                       position. Usually not capitalized.

 
                          Bottom Space - is a euphoric state reportedly experienced by some 'bottoms' during BDSM play when they are receiving

                                         pleasure or pain, allegedly triggered by the release of endorphins. Also known as sub-space, endorphin-high, or

                                        'flying'.

                     Boundaries - are also called 'limits' , and are the personal lines that people don't wish, or aren't prepared, to cross, for

                           example refusing any activity that involves children, animals, bloodsports, 'scat', (shit), or any subject or situation which

                            either the dominant or submissive finds frightening or repulsive.

                       Boy - is a term sometimes used for male submissives, which has a special meaning in gay leather culture where it may also

                                 refer to the submissive partner in a Daddy/boy relationship. The word is also used in lesbian culture to denote a male-

                                 identified (but biologically female) bottom.

                              Brat - describes a submissive or bottom who loves to resist and test the patience of the 'tops' or 'dominants'. Being a brat

                                     generally involves role-play, with the 'brat' acting like a spoiled and willful child.

 

                                   Breast Bondage - is erotic play which involves binding the breasts tightly. Generally it involves restraints (rope,

                                           rubber  etc) which encircle each  breast tightly where it joins the chest. The  breasts and nipples become engorged

                                           with blood and exquisitely sensitive to the slightest  touch. Stroking, clamping, or whipping can cause intense pain

                                           and  pleasure.

                                   Breath control - usually involves the dominant partner controlling the breathing of the submissive. This can be done

                                               most easily when the submissive is bound or restrained, and it can involve pinching the nostrils or using other

                                              apparatus or materials to cover the mouth or  nose for short periods.

                             Branding - is burning the skin with heated metal to produce scarification in a design or pattern. It is sometimes used as

                                             decoration or to signify ownership, as when a 'master' will brand his 'slave' to denote that she is his property.

                           Bullwhips - are arguably amongst the most dramatic implements available for BDSM play and can create intense

            psychological theatre. A typical bullwhip has a relatively short, rigid handle and a long flexible leather thong of varying lengths

                                 ranging from about 4-6 feet. The longer the whip, the harder it is to control.

                        Butt-Plugs - are used for anal training or play. The anus (ass-hole) is rich in nerve endings and many women as well as men

                                     find anal play as arousing as genital stimulation. Butt plugs are inserted into the anus and stretch the tight ring of

                                     anal muscle (the sphincter). By doing so they can, if used over time and with gradually increasing widths, prepare the

                                     anus for more adventurous or easier anal play. Alternatively, the sensation of being 'filled' may simply be enjoyed as

                                      an end in itself.

                     C 

                         Candles - are used in play that involves dripping hot candle wax onto the skin of the submissive. Plain white paraffin candles

                                are best, while colored or beeswax candles are more likely to burn. Generally soft candles have a lower melting point

                                and are safer.

                               Canes - come in a variety of lengths and thicknesses and are traditionally made of rattan, although more recently

                                  man-made materials like fiberglass have become available. Depending upon how the cane is applied it can simply sting or

                          it can raise severe welts. Usually applied to  the ass but occasionally ( in school-room role-play) to the palms of the hands.

                        Cat 'o' nine tails - was originally used by the British Navy to flog uppity sailors, and was a leather whip with nine thongs

                                  which were sometimes weighted with lead to produce a devastating punishment that could strip the skin off right down

                                 to the bone.   Nowadays the cat 'o' nine tails is often a term used to refer to any multi-thonged whip.

 
                            Catharsis - is the purging of emotions or tension. People may bring to bdsm sessions issues of self-esteem and past

                                        psychological trauma. The intense emotional charge generated by some bdsm encounters can be the catalyst which

                                       brings these issues to the surface. This can be either good or bad, depending on how its dealt with. It is potentially

                                      dangerous to stray into deep bdsm play unless you know what you're doing.

 
                               Clamps - are mechanical devices that come in various shapes and sizes but are all designed to cause pain through pinching

                                    or squeezing. They  can include nipple clamps, crocodile clips or even the humble clothes-pin and are applied to

                                   erogenous areas such as nipples, cocks, balls or the vulva. Weights are sometimes added to increase the intensity of

                                  the pain.

 
                             Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) - is the 'torture' or involvement in painful erotic play of the male genitalia (cock and

                                         balls).    Methods may include clamps, clips, tight bindings of various sorts, whips, crops, electrodes, and hard-core

                                       addicts  have even hammered nails through their unfortunate appendages.

 
                          Cockrings - are, as the name suggests, rings that go around your cock. Usually they go around the base of it, behind the

                                           balls.   The penis becomes erect when the blood vessels at its base constrict (because of arousal), trapping blood

                                         in the cock and causing it to swell and prolonging erection. They're often used as an aid to impotence, or simply to

                                         prolong and   increase the pleasure of an erection. Made of leather, with adjustable snaps, so you can tighten or 

                                         loosen them to fit, rubber or metal.

           Collar - a collar used in bdsm is in physical appearance often like a dog-collar, made of leather or a chain, and worn around

                                   the neck (although some favour a symbolic thin gold chain for everyday wear). The conventional collar may simply be

                                 used as a prop in bdsm 'play' to denote a negotiated submission for a llimited play session, but it can also be used as

                               more permanent symbol of ownership in some ongoing Dominant/submissive or Master/slave relationships.

                         Collaring - usually means the formalising of a relationship between a dominant and submissive. There is no set procedure. It

                                     may be a simple understanding between two people or a ceremony attended by friends where vows are exchanged

                                    and the submissive is physically 'collared' (given a collar to wear). The collar itself may be symbolic or real. Collaring is

                                 often likened to a marriage, although of course it is not a legal contract.

                         

                             Contract (Slave Contract) - is an agreement which formally sets out the roles, responsibilities and limits of a

                                             Domination/submission relationship, sometimes called a slave or ownership contract. 

                        

                           Counting Strokes - is a ritualized counting of the strokes of a caning, with the recipient sometimes being required to

                                     thank the dominant after each stroke. If the submissive miscounts a stroke or remains silent, then the stroke may be

                                     repeated.

   

                               Cross-Dressing - is dressing in the clothes of the opposite gender, and is a reasonably common fetish.
 

                            Crucifixion - as practiced in BDSM usually refers to a kind of bondage where the submissive is tied to a cross. Care

                                          needs to be  taken to make sure that the weight is supported evenly and that the submissive can breathe properly.

                                         More rarely, hard-core devotees go further and actually have themselves nailed to a  cross.

                               Cunnilingus      

                        Cutting - generally means slicing the skin with a sharp implement (knife or scalpel) so that blood is shed

                        

                          Cuffs - can be made out of leather, cloth or metal and are designed to restrain the wrists or ankles.

 

                          Cybersex ( online sex, virtual sex, virtual sceneing ) - most commonly involves two or more people, who are

                                             communicating  in real-time via their computers, constructing a shared sexual fantasy and describing

                                           to each other how they   feel and what they are 'doing'. A  bit like an inter-active erotic story.

  D 

                                         
                          Dental Dams - are most commonly just a latex barrier used for cunnilingus (pussy-licking) or anilingus (ass-licking)

                                                  to prevent the transmission of disease.

                              Deviant - is the name for a person who diverges from the accepted standards, usually of sexual morality.

                       Discipline - in the bdsm context means training your submissive to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment

                                   to correct disobedience.

                                 DD     Abbreviation for Domestic Discipline. A consensual relationship where the submissive (most often the wife)

                                            is subject to rules and punishments from the Dominant (her husband).

                              Dominance - is the exercise of power or influence over others. It can simply be role-play, where one partner is

                                  consensually empowered to 'dominate' while the other adopts the part of the submissive for the limited purpose of

                                 sexual  games, or it can reflect deep-seated personality traits which influence life-style choices. Although the words

                              'Dominant' and its contraction, 'Dom' can refer to either gender they are most commonly reserved for men while a female

                              dominant would be called a 'Domme', 'Domina', or 'Dominatrix'. A person who enjoys playing both roles is called a 'switch'

 

                            Dominant - (or Dom) can, stricctly speaking, be used in a bdsm context for either gender to describe a person who enjoys

                              exercising power and control over others, however these words are usually reserved for males while their female equivalent

                              is usually called 'domme', 'domina' or 'dominatrix'.

                         

                           Dominatrix - (or Domme or Domina) are the terms most often used in a bdsm context to describe a female who

                                        enjoys  exercising power and control over others    

        

                               D/s - is the abbreviation for domination and submission and is often spelled like this, with a capital (dominant) 'D' and a

                             lower case (submissive) 's'. You will commonly find the same convention used in BDSM internet chat-rooms, where the

                                  Doms nick-names will start with an upper case letter and the submissives will use the lower case. In those circumstances

                                  it does no particular harm and its just a handy way of knowing peoples preferences. A consensual relationship where

                           the submissive yields to the control of the Dominant. This can be in a sexual context only, in a full-time (24/7) context,

                            or anything in between.

                       

                             D/s' Relationship - describes an ongoing relationship where each partner has a recognised role, one being dominant

                                          while the other is submissive. This structured way of relating to each other can apply either just in their sex-life or

                                            more  pervasively to some or all other aspects of their daily life-style.
 

  E 

                            Edge Play - (1) is a term used for activities that carry a degree of risk which is perceived to be high, or play which pushes the

                                    submissives limits 'to the edge'. It can include activities that are physically risky (eg the use of guns or knives in a scene)

                               or ones that are emotionally risky (eg play that involves 'taboo' subjects like rape, slavery, or indeed anything the     

                             submissive   is genuinely uneasy or phobic about).

                            Edge-Play (2) Scene involving the possibility of death for the submissive. Edge-Play can be more psychological, such

                                         as pretended willingness to use a butcher knife; or quite physical, for instance temporarily cutting off the

                                         submissive's breathing.
 

                           Electrical Torture (Electro Play) - involves the use of electrical current, often applied to breasts of genitalia, in bdsm

                                           play sessions

                           Emotional Triggers - are events, words, situations (eg rape) that produce a strong emotional reaction in particular

                               individuals  and for that reason may be either deliberately avoided or used in play.

                         Endorphins - are natural substances created by the body which reduce pain and can create a feeling of well-being and

                                  euphoria   which is often called an 'endorphin high'. Exercise can produce endorphins, and some athletes become

                                  addicted to the   opiate-like feelings that a good workout can produce. The same feelings of euphoria and well-being

                                   are reported by some   submissives during BDSM activities. this sensation is often called 'bottom-space', 'sub-space',

                                  'flying' or an 'endorphin-high'.

                               
                           Enema - is a device used to inject fluid into the anus to flush the lower intestines. Generally used for medical reasons (e.g.

                               before surgery or  internal examination) but sometimes used as part of D/s or sexual play for humiliation, to cleanse before

                                 other anal play, or just because you like having someone mess around with your ass. .

    
                          English - is a code word for corporal punishment, stemming from the supposed devotion of the English to anything that

                        smacks of a good spanking.  

 
                         Exhibitionists - are people who love drawing attention to themselves. The term has a specific use in psychiatry, where it

                            describes a compulsion to exhibit ones genitals in public.

                              

  F 

                         Fetish (1) is the word used to describe any sexual fixation upon an activity or object which often (but certainly not always) has

                             its roots in some powerful experience or image from childhood. Common fetishes include feet, corsets, shoes, rubber,

              latex, leather, used panties, small furrry animals, and other things too weird to even contemplate.

                             

                         Fetish (2) This is unusually strong feeling of (in a sexual content) gratification from or attachment to a particular object, idea,

                         or situation. Some examples of fetish items might be leather, handcuffs, paddles, or items of clothing such as nurse's

                         uniforms or shoes. Ideas and situations might include fantasies of taboo subjects such as rape or incest, or being arrested

                               and taken to jail.

                           Fire and Ice - is a practice which involves in bdsm play the use of heat and cold, often candle wax for heat (the fire) and

                                  ice cubes (the ice) applied to the bare skin, especially the nipples or genital area.

 

                         Fisting - describes the insertion of the whole hand into the anus (anal fisting) or the vagina (vaginal fisting).

              

                         Flogger - is a multi-thonged whip, often made out of deerskin, elk, suede, or other pliable leathers.

                         Flogging styles    

 

                        Flying - a transcendental endorphin-induced state of bliss reported by some submissives during bdsm

      

                      Foot Fetish - A fairly common fetish, in which the foot (or shoes) is the trigger for sexual desire.

 

                          Forced Sex - In this context, a consensual fantasy role-play where the dom pretends to force a sexual activity upon the

                               submissive. It might involve forced oral sex or the acting out of a 'rape' scene.

 

                          French (French Kissing) - any kissing that involves open mouths, tongues, and swapping spit. Also, occasionally

                                      used as  a 'code-word' for candlings (licking pussies) and fellatio (sucking cocks).                                      

  G     

 
                        Gags - are devices inserted into or covering the mouth to muffle sound or create feelings of helplessness.

                        Gates of Hell - A linked series of rings, usually metal, of diminishing size which are fitted around the cock and held in place

                              by a leather strap around the balls. Initially fitted to a flaccid cock, the device grips ever more tightly as the unfortunate

                              victim becomes aroused and his cock becomes erect.

                            Gender Orientation - identification with a particular gender. So for example, a male transexual might have a female

                             gender orientation (i.e see himself as a woman) but still prefer to have sex with either men or women.

                             Gender Play - is dressing up or taking the role of the other sex during play.

                             German - yet another 'code-word', this time for sado-masochism.

                             Golden Shower - pissing on your partner or having them piss on you. The 'golden shower' is the urine.

                              Gorean - the term comes from a series of over 20 sci/fi novels about a planet called Gor written by John Norman (real

                                     name John Frederick Lange). The slave culture described obviously struck a chord with many D/s devotees, because

                                    Gorean websites, newsgroups, and chat-rooms have sprung up all over the internet where people engage in a fantasy

                                    life based on the world described in the these novels.

                             Greek - a 'code-word' for anal sex. Sometimes also used specifically for homosexual anal sex.

  H 

                                              
                             Handcuffs - metal restraints which lock around the wrists, just like the police use.

                              Head Games - describes psychological manipulation by the dominant intended to intensify the erotic or emotional

                                              response of the submissive through heightened anticipation and fear.

                              Hoods - cover the head and may be made from a variety of materials such as leather, cotton, latex, or rubber depending

                                      on your tastes. They are used to de-personalise and disorient or more benignly in bdsm as scary props for the dom

                                      or to provide an anonymity for dominant or submissive which can be quite liberating

                          Humiliation - involves making someone feel ashamed or foolish by injuring their dignity and self-respect, especially

                                        publically.    Some enjoy it in certain kinds of role-play or relationships. Mental domination exercised through

                                        humiliation or praise  can be positive or destructive, depending on who is involved, their background, the intention

                                       behind the humiliation,  and how it is carried out.  

                                      I 

                           Infantilism - is role-play involving infant-like behaviour such as wearing nappies (diapers), nursing, etc. An Infantilist is

                              a person who sometimes likes to pretend that he or she is a baby/toddler. This can include the urge to be pampered,

                             snuggling close by a maternal lover's side, being helpless once again in mommy's arms or sometimes even dressing as a

                             baby.

                 J 

                               Japanese bondage (oriental bondage) - is an elaborate, and to some beautiful, rope bondage developed in the Orient

                                    where it was originally used as a torture technique. It combines the usual bondage-effect of helplessness with

                                    aesthetic beauty and in some cases an intense erotic massage (caused by the pressure of the ropes and knots) that's

                                  similar to acupressure techniques and traditional Japanese shiatsu massage.

  K 

                    Kinky Info Kajira - a Kajira is a gorean female slavegirl, not to be confused with a Kajirus who is her male counterpart or a

                      Kajuralia, which is a festival in which gorean slaves trade places with their masters and have the freedom to play tricks on

                        free persons. All of these terms come from the fantasy world of Gor (the counter-earth) created in the novels of John Norman .

 
                           Katherine Wheel - is a large, vertically mounted wheel. The submissive is bound securely to the wheel, after which it

                                           can be  rotated to give easy access to all areas of the 'victims' body for pleasing or teasing.

                                Knifeplay - doesn't necessarily involve cutting although it might. Knives are pretty scary things
 

  L 

                           Latex - is a clinging, shiny fabric and is the subject of a significant fetish with many devotees.

            
                           Leather - is one of the most basic and widely-known fetishes in the BDSM scene. Leather skirts, leather chaps, leather

                                     harnesses, leather cuffs, leather paddles, the list is endless.
        

                                   Lifestyler - is a term used to describe a person who lives a lifestyle which supports their bdsm inclinations.

                                      Sometimes  a person who hangs out a lot at BDSM clubs or parties will call himself a 'lifestyler' but others only

                                     consider  themselves 'lifestylers' if they 'stay in role' as dominant or submissive, master or slave, not just for a night

                                         out at a club but full-time, 24-hours a day, seven days a week (or 24/7 as its often called ).

                                Limits - are the boundaries of BDSM activities that we are unwilling to cross, things we don't want to do and places

                                                  we don't want to go.

  
                                    Live-In Slave - is a 'lifestyle' submissive who lives with, and serves, a master or mistress on a full-time asis.
 

                                  m

                                      Marking - marks left on a submissives body as a result or punishment, for example whipping or caning.

                                                 Sometimes viewed by submissive a bade of pride but can also be a major embarrassment if unwanted.

                                 Masochist - someone who derives pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, from pain or humiliation. The word comes

                       from the name of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1839-95) the Austrian writer (and masochist) who described what he enjoyed

                       so well in his novel, “Venus in Furs”.
 

                      Master - the Oxford English Dictionary describes a 'master' as 'a person who has dominance over others' or 'a skilled

                               practitioner  of a particular art'. Those two concepts, dominance and skill, are brought together in the use of the word

                         'Master' in a bdsm context. The title may sometimes be used within a D/s relationship as a loving tribute by a submissive to the

                       skill   of her partner or it may define a relationship in which the submissive sees herself as a 'slave' who is owned by her              

                         'master'.     Essentially though the word describes how someone else regards you, not how you regard yourself.

                               Master & slave "Slavery" Contract     
 

                          Menthol Play - is a form of erotic play in which menthol products are used on sensitive areas of the body to produce

                                   intense stimulation. Cough drops or toothpaste containing menthol can be used to spice up fellatio (cock-sucking) or

                              cunnilingus (pussy-licking). Arthritis creams and sprays (e.g. Ben Gay) which contain menthol can also be used to make

                          male masturbation more intense, but are generally much too strong to be tolerated on the sensitive internal mucous membrane

                      of the anus or vagina. This kind of play needs to be treated with care because it can also cause intense discomfort.
 

                            Mind Bondage - is a kind of bondage in which the submissive is restrained simply by the dominant describing to her

                                      how she is tied up or by telling her to stay in position. No 'real' bondage is involved.
 

                            Mind Play - is psychological manipulation by the dominant intended to intensify the erotic or emotional response

                                        of the submissive through heightened anticipation and fear. It may be good or bad, depending on the circumstances

                                     and motive. Also known as head games, head trips, or mind-fucking.
 

                           Mistress - a female dominant
 

                         Mommy - a dominant, usually but not always female, who adopts a maternal role when relating to a submissive.
 

                       Mummification - is a very tight and constricting kind of bondage in which the person is completely (or nearly so) wrapped

                                              in restrictive material such as bandages, cling-film, rubber or a special bag designed for this purpose.

                          Munch - a term used to describe informal meetings run by bdsm clubs and organisations in safe, social settings such as

                               a group lunch or 'munch' at a public restaurant, where kinky people can make new acquaintances or socialize with old

                                friends in a low-key, pressure-free "vanilla" setting.
 

  N 

                      Necrophilia - is sexual intercourse with, or attraction towards, corpses.
 

                         Negotiation - is the art of reaching a clear agreement with your partner about the sort of play-session or relationship you

                           want and the things you will do together. Arguably one of the most important bdsm skills.
 

                               Nipple Clamps - may be purpose made or improvised from everyday things like clothes-pins or crocodile-clips and

                                                      are applied, as the name suggests, to the nipples.
 

                                 Nipple Torture (Play) - because nipples are so sensitive and erogenous they are a prime target for teasing and

                                                    torment in a variety of ways, including the use of nipple clamps, hot wax, or whipping.
 

                                 Nonconsensual - if the motto of good bdsm is 'safe, sane, and consensual' then it follows that any bdsm activity

                            which is genuinely nonconsensual is to be avoided. The reality of nonconsensual action is that it is abuse and not bdsm.
 

                              Nostril Strap - most commonly favored in Japanese BDSM, the nostril strap is made usually of bent wire with a

                                string attached. The wire ends hook into the nostrils producing eye-watering pain if the string is pulled.
 

                           Novice - is someone new to bdsm who lacks experience
                     O 

                        O (The Story of O) - was an influential novel about sado-masochism written by Pauline Reage in the 1950's. Iit tells the

                         story  of 'O', a french woman who is taken by her lover Rene to a chateau called 'Roissy' on the edge of Paris where she is

                           systematically subjugated and molded into a willing slave through sexual assaults, regular whippings, and long hours in

                                solitude.
 

                          Oriental Bondage (japanese bondage) - is an elaborate, and to some beautiful, rope bondage developed in the

                                          Orient where  it was originally used as a torture technique. It combines the usual bondage-effect of helplessness 

                                 with  aesthetic beauty and in some cases an intense erotic massage (caused by the pressure of the ropes and knots)

                                     that' s similar to acupressure techniques  and traditional Japanese shiatsu massage

             
                            OTK or Over-the-Knee - is a popular and well-known position for spanking, where the person being spanked lays

                                   face-down across the lap of the spanker.  

  P 

                      Paddle (paddling) - a spanking implement intended to be used on the buttocks. Paddles are traditionally made of wood

                     but variations include leather paddles, usually with a rigid spine made of steel or fibreglass, and wooden paddles with holes drilled

                        in them to reduce wind resistance when the paddle is swung and produce a harder contact. Any relatively rigid, flat object such

                      as a hairbrush or ping-pong paddle can also be used as a paddle.

                                Pain Slut - a 'pain slut' is a masochist who enjoys and seeks out pain for its own sake.

                     Pansexual - means not limited or inhibited in sexual choice by gender or activity; a sexuality that has many different forms,

                                   objects, and outlets. Often used to describe groups which embrace all gender and sexual orientations.

 
                         Pervert - is a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as unacceptable or abnormal. Often used by self-appointed

                                      moralists to describe those whose odd sexual tastes differ from their own odd sexual tastes.

                              Piercing - involves penetrating the flesh, either temporarily or on a more permanent basis. In play-piercing, needles are

                                       used only for the duration of the play in different areas of the body. Permanent piercings, for decorative or erotic

                                       purposes, may be done in the nipple, tongue, nostril, eyebrow, ear, lips, scrotum, penis, the inner and outer labia,

                                      or the hood of the clitoris. Metal rings and studs are usually inserted into the piercings, and sometimes thin chains are

                                      attached to nipple or genital rings during BDSM play to 'lead' and control a submissive.

                            Pillory - is a set of stocks mounted on an upright piece of wood, which imprison the head and hands obliging the

                                              prisoner to stand bent over in an uncomfortable position.

                      Play - consensual bdsm activity which may or may not have an agreed sexual component. The sado-masochistic things

                               two or more people do together in 'play' might range from a light spanking through erotic torture to pretty much anything

                             else you can imagine. A 'playroom' is a safe and secure room specially set up for SM play, which might be equipped with

                              restraints, mirrors, whips, paddles, whipping posts and benches, or whatever else you fancy. BDSM 'play' is also called a

                                'scene' or 'sceneing'.

                        Playroom - is a safe and secure room specially set up for SM play, which might be equipped with restraints, mirrors,

                                       whips, paddles, whipping posts and benches, or whatever else you fancy.
 

                            Polyamorous - means "loving more than one". The love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof,

                                        according to the desires and agreements of the people involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term

                                        for people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one.

                                    Poly Relationships 
 

                           Pony-Play - is a distinct sub-culture within BDSM. A ponygirl (or ponyboy) engages in role-play involving assuming the

                                       role of a 'pony' and being 'trained' by a dominant. Typically the human 'pony' is required to wear a harness and reins

                                     while performing actions that a real pony would perform, such as running on a lunge line, pulling a cart, carrying a rider

                                    or being groomed, inspected and shown.
 

                           Position Training - is training a submissive to adopt a certain position on command or under certain circumstances.

                                                Some bdsm sub-cultures, for example the Goreans, are more into this than others and have quite elaborate

                                            requirements.
 

                       Power Exchange - is a term used to describe a submissive granting a dominant power over her. The degree of power

                                        granted may be very limited, absolute, or anywhere in between. This 'power-exchange' forms the basis of most

                                short-term bdsm play sessions and longer term D/s relationships. The dominant, in accepting the power which is offered,

                                should also accept responsibilities towards the submissive which will include not abusing that power.

                                   PVC (Poly Vinyl Chloride) - is a thin, shiny plastic material often used for fetish clothes.

        
                                  Pussy Torture - the female equivalent of 'cock and ball' torture. In this case clamping, whipping, or other ways of

                          inflicting pain are focused on the female genitalia.

 

  q 

Quirt - a flexible, leather riding crop favored by cowboys in the comics I read when I was a tiny sadist.

  S 

                                  Rimming  A slang expression for anilingus (anal-oral sex)

                             Role Play - adopting a different persona for the purpose of acting out sexual fantasies. Examples could be the stern

                                 schoolmaster and the naughty schoolgirl, the mistress and her slave, the torturer and his victim, doctor and nurse, priest

                                and penitant, Batman and Robin, or whatever turns you on.

 

                                   Roissy - A fictitious chateau featured in the novel 'Histoire d'O' (The story of O) where the heroine, 'O', was

                                             first introduced to sadomasochism and enslaved. Sometimes used as a code word to indicate S/M
 

  s 

                                              Sadist - a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation on

                          others. The word comes from the name of Donatien Alphonse Francois, compte de Sade, known as the Marquis de Sade

                           (1740 - 1814). He was the author of several sexually explicit works which explored the darker side of sexuality and for

                             which he spent much of his life imprisoned. Sadist (top) and Masochist (bottom).

       

                             Safewords (safe signals) - are pre-arranged words or signals that can be used by a submissive in BDSM play to slow

                              down or stop the action.   A word designated to be used to stop or slow down a scene. To keep the illusion of  being

                            tormented against their will, a good Dom will ignore a sub's pleas for mercy. So a safe word --- something besides

                        'stop','no' or 'knock it off' is utilized if the game becomes too intense for the sub. Many people simply use the word 'red' to

                        stop the scene (as it is easily remembered), and 'yellow' to slow things down a bit. . 'Blue' can say enough of that toy but

                       continue to play with other items.  If the word  'green'  is used this would indicate they are wanting more of the same  or

                         harder play.     In cases where a gag is used, a gesture  or hand-signal can be substituted for the safe word

                      Safe, Sane and Consensual - a phrase commonly used to encapsulate the best principles of bdsm activity. It must

                         be safe; you must not put people at emotional or physical risk. It must be sane; bdsm play is not the place to play out your

                        neuroses because , in doing so, you can hurt people. It must be consensual; anything done to to a person without their consent

                              shows at best a lack of respect and more often is abusive. Good guiding principles.

 
                           Safe Sex - is sex which does not impair the physical or emotional health of either partner, and involves precautions like

                            wearing condoms, using denttal dams, being cafeful to protect yourself against blood, not taking part in any risky bdsm

                      activities unless you know exactly what you're doing and have your partners informed consent, and avoiding risky bdsm

                       activites if you've been drinking or taking drugs.

 

                           Scat - is play involving faeces (shit); eating it, smearing it over things, being shit upon, etc.

                            Scene (sceneing) -(1)   bdsm activity between two or more people. Used as a noun, 'scene' is often used to describe

                                                  the  whole bdsm community or the many aspects of it you might come across, like 'scene parties' or 'scene

                                                 clubs'. It can  also be used to describe an individual bdsm session, as in "I had a great scene with her last

                                         night". It can also be used as a verb, as in "do you want to scene with me", meaning do you want to have a bdsm

                                 session with me, or "she spends her life  sceneing". Used in this way, it is synonymous with the word 'play' .

 

                              Scene    (2)    A pre-planned negotiated encounter involving some aspect of BDSM. A scene involves roleplaying

                                           or specific interests, so there is often much discussion beforehand, especially with a new partner.

                            Single-tail     
           
                          Slave - in its traditional meaning is a person who is the legal property of another and is therefore forced to obey them.

                                         In bdsm, someone may adopt the role of slave for the duration of a 'scene' or play-session or they may enter into

                           a long-term, structured D/s relationship in which they are owned as a 'slave' by a dominant 'master'. The word 'slave' is

                         also used fairly interchangeably with 'submissive' by some, although the words in fact have different meanings. Every slave

                       is submissive, but every submissive is not a slave.

                                 S&M     Abbreviation for Sadism and Masochism. Sadism is deriving sexual arousal from the infliction of pain,

                                         while masochism is deriving sexual pleasure from the receiving of pain. In this context, all references to S&M (or

                                         SM) are understood to indicate consensual Sadomasochism

         

                           Slave Contract - is a formal document which may be agreed between a 'master' and his 'slave' setting out the

                                                             nature and limits of their relationship.

                            Spanking - involves striking your partners buttocks with your hand or a sometimes a flat implement like a

                                                hairbrush or paddle. The most common position for spanking is 'OTK', or 'Over The Knee'.
              

                            Spreader Bar - a bondage device, the spreader is a rigid bar of varying lengths, attached at the ends either to the

                                                 wrists or ankles, which keeps the arms or legs apart and renders the submissive helpless.

                       St Andrews Cross - is an X-shaped cruxifiction device usually made of wood. The submissive is tied or chained to

                                               the cross, either facing towards or away from it, depending on what you intend to do with her.

                               SSC      An acronym made from the words "Safe, Sane and Consensual." A descriptive term created in 1987 and made

                         popular in the 1990s to be a credo for BDSM activities. The idea was to promote to non-BDSM people ("vanilla") the idea

                          that what we do can be done responsibly when entered upon by consenting partners.


                             Sub Space - is a blissful and euphoric state reported by some submissives during bdsm play. Also called 'bottom-space',

                                         'flying' or an 'endorphin-high'

                            Submissive - is a person of either gender who submits to the will of a dominant, either for limited bdsm play or

                                                 within a longer-term relationship.

                       Suction Cups - are cups which are placed over the breasts to create a partial vacuum inside, sometimes assisted by

                                                    pumps. The tissue inside becomes engorged with blood and expands, increasing its sensitivity.

                       Suspension Bondage - is an advanced bondage technique in which the submissive is 'suspended' off the ground

                                                                 by means of ropes or other restraints.
 
                          Switch - is the name for a person who enjoys both the submissive and dominant roles at different times.  One who is

                                                   willing to take on the role of both Dom and sub at different times. Switching is generally not done in 

                                                 the middle of a scene.                   

 

                               t

                                                  Top     Dominant, or in a dominant position. 'Topping' someone refers to forcing them to submit to the will of

                                 the dominant. Usually capitalized.

                       Topping from the Bottom - is a phrase used to describe a 'bottom' or a 'submissive' who tries to control the BDSM

                                                            play session while seeming to submit.

                     Torture - in bdsm the word is usually used to describe the more severe forms of erotic punishment although what constitutes

                                     'severe' will vary considerably between individuals.

                          Training ( conditioning, slave-training ) - is a process whereby the dominant will seek to modify the submissives

                                                 behaviour, responses or attitudes by systematic training.

                                          Training   

                             Transvestite ( cross-dresser, TV, tranny ) - is someone who likes to dress in the clothes of the opposite sex.

                              Male transvestites differ from transsexuals in that they desire to dress and occasionally act as women, but do not consider

                       themselves as women or even want to be. "Crossdresser" is generally the preferred term of those who participate in this

                           behavior.

                      Transsexual - is a person born with the physical characteristics of one sex, who emotionally and psychologically feels

                        they belong to the other sex. Some are able to live their lives in the condition they were born, but others feel so uncomfortable

                           that they seek to change their sex through medical intervention.
 

  U

                   Urolagnia & Infantilism Top - a 'top' gives the pain or sensation which a 'bottom' wishes to receive, so for example in

                                   a spanking the 'top' will administer the spanking and the 'bottom' will be spanked. The word can also be used as a

                             verb (as in 'topping' someone, meaning to give them pain or sensation).The words 'top' and 'bottom' are often used

                          interchangeably with 'dominant' and 'submissive' but they are not synonymous. In relations between a dominant and a

                          submissive there is always an exchange of power, where the submissive agrees to submit to the will of the dominant.

                            That same surrender isn't required or implied in a session between a 'top' and a 'bottom'. Others sometimes equate the

  v

                        Vampire Gloves - are thin leather gloves which have sharp metal tacks or points on the fingers and/or palms. The

                                       length and sharpness of the points depends on your degree of sadism.

                         Vanilla - implying 'bland' or 'flavourless', is a term used to describe non-BDSM sex or people. So for example you might

                           hear someone saying they have a 'vanilla partner' (someone not into BDSM) or that they had 'vanilla sex' (sex not involving

                            BDSM).    

                          Verbal Bondage - is an imaginative form of bondage and is sometimes helpful in training submissives. It involves

                                putting your sub into some suitable position (hands-on-head or kneeling for example) and then ordering them not to

                       move on pain of your displeasure or punishment. The only thing binding them is your command and their desire to submit.

                       Violet Wand - is a device used for administering mild electric shocks. They generally have a glass bulb or globe at one

                          end and use a high-frequency circuit, similar to a Tesla coil, to build up a static charge in the glass part, making it glow violet.

                            Static sparks jump to the skin, with an associated "sizzle" and mild shock. As current doesn't pass through the body these

                       wands are pretty safe.
     
                           Virtual D/s - is a term often used to describe the relatively recent phenomenon of D/s relationships that take place

                        on the internet rather than in 'real-life'. Also used in 'Virtual Sex', 'Virtual Scene', or 'Virtual D/s'.
 

  w

                           Wattenberg Wheel - is a device for pricking people, originally used by doctors to test nerve responses. It consists of a

                         metal handle with a free-spinning, metal pinwheel attached to one end. The 'pins' are generally sharp enough to feel 'prickly'

                         but aren't intended to break the skin. Holding the handle in your hand you roll the wheel over a person's skin, creating the

                        sensation of countless tiny pinpricks.

                         Wax Play (Wax Torture) - involves dripping hot candle wax onto the skin of a submissive. Soft, plain white

                                  candles are safest. Avoid colored or beeswax candles which have a higher melting point and can burn.

                          Water Sports - pissing on your partner or having them piss on you. Also called 'golden showers'

                     Weights - are sometimes added to clamps attached to nipples or genitals to increase the sensation. They can be custom

                               made or improvised, for example the lead weights used for fishing.

                      Whips - fall broadly into two main groups. The first includes all single-thonged whips, such as blacksnake whips, buggy

                       whips, and bullwhips. They range in size from around 3 -12 feet. All will produce an intense burning sensation while the larger

                      ones, if used injudiciously, can cut skin like a knife. The second main group is the multi-thonged whips, which includes a wide

                          range of implements like the cat 'o' nine tails, two-tailed quirts, and other softer 'floggers'.
 

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